Lies and the lying liars who tell them

Today I realized just how disenfranchised with politics I am.  I have never been as excited about our political process as I was in 2007 and 2008.  The promise of hope and change was too much for me to dismiss.  I felt as if I was living through a turning point in American politics.  A modern day JFK or perhaps even greater.  A young, intelligent, progressive, black man who truly seemed to share my generation's values.  I thought my dream of a president who loved peace, not war, sought rational compromise (but only where compromise was appropriate) and who understood that the values and ideas of our grandfathers, while important, are not the same as ours.

I must admit, during his first term President Obama has actually accomplished a great deal, especially considering such sharp criticism and opposition from the right.  Yet even what he has accomplished he has not done in the way he said he would.  And for some of us, it's the WAY you do it that matters.  Many on the right complain of "Obamacare."  But the people who elected him, wanted much more than just a government mandate to purchase insurance.  We wanted real, genuine universal healthcare. Instead he caved, giving in to the interests instead.

He ran on the idea that he would close Guantanamo Bay.  Those who elected him, the progressives, liberals, etc., (call them what you will) believed this to be a fundamental point of contention.  It was after all, one of the (many) reasons we hated W so much.  Speaking of reasons we hated W....the wars.  Not just that we entered into war, as this is sometimes necessary.  But it was his swift, decisive, almost unreflective way of starting them.  Obama has done much of the same in Libya, although admittedly the situations are quite different.  Well, somewhat.  This administration is simply not being upfront with the American people about the real reasons, that viscous, black liquid that we crave so much.  He loves to speak of how his swift decisive action stopped the massacre of innocent civilians, and no doubt it did.  But why not this same course of action in Rwanda?  The Congo? or any of the myriad other examples of the denial of human rights? One word. Interests.

It's not that I don't understand that we (as a country) have needs.  I do.  I know that these needs must be met.  However, there is no need to treat those of us who elected you, or even those who voted against you, like we are all as ignorant as some may be.  There is an old saying that still rings true.  Honesty is the best policy.  You might want to Google it.

Below is one of the article's I read that inspired this post. I suggest everyone give it a read. Its short and very well -written.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kristen-breitweiser/military-commission-9-11-_b_844661.html

Japanese Disaster and Christian superstition

Over the last few days I've noticed all too many (ignorant) connections between recent (term used liberally) disasters and the idea of a zombie Jesus coming back to Earth. The passage is from Luke 21:10-11. It says, "Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be great earthquakes, famines, and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven." There are so many things I could say about this...first of all this INCREDIBLY VAGUE passage could refer to any random snippet of time throughout human history. There have always been disasters, tragedies, etc. as long as there have been people for them to happen to.

The human brain is wired for pattern detection. It's how we've survived and evolved to the top of the food chain. Because of this we have a propensity to make ridiculous assumptions based on faulty evidence, or no evidence at all.  Sure, 9/11, the Haitian earthquake, and the Japanese earthquake/tsunami have all occurred on the 11th day of each respective month (the reason for these various posts/tweets). But 9/11 was a decade ago. If there world were ending and zombie Jesus was coming back then why wait ten years in between to wreck more peoples' lives?

To say these events are connected is Glenn Beck style conspiracy theorizing. I know people love their religions and such but this book (written by random dudes and pieced together by other random dudes in order to serve their political agenda) is not a reasonable way to predict or interpret world events. Not to mention the incredible amount of insensitivity it brings to such a horrific situation. Thousands of people have died, to this day no one is sure exactly how many, and my American friends come off as insensitive and overly dogmatic to my Japanese friends/roommates as well as the rest of the international community when instead of showing concern or trying to help in some way, they use this as an opportunity to jump on their pulpits and assert their superstitious beliefs and in some cases espouse the reason these things happen to these people (not living their lives the right way, i.e. the Christian way.)

This makes me angry in so many ways that I cannot describe nor am I able to fully explain them here. The point is, think before you decide to ram your religious beliefs and opinions down other peoples' throats. Your book also speaks of bashing babies against rocks, raping women, promoting slavery, and picking up sticks on a Saturday as a crime punishable by death. Not to mention the multiple headed monsters and warrior angels. Sounds more like a demented comic book than something to devote my life to. But hey, that's just my opinion.

Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can be much worse.

Sometimes our biggest problem is not truly appreciating the power of the things we say, or in some cases don't say. We're all guilty of it. There are many times, like the one that spurred this post, that I forget how much a few words, whether said or unsaid, can hurt someone until they hit home. I can legitimately say that I try to stay conscious of my actions and words on a daily basis. I sincerely try to be a person who makes others feel good. But I slip up like everyone else. Whether its an off-hand remark I don't think the other person will take seriously, a joke I never imagined would hurt someone else's feelings, a text message ignored, an apology not given, one not accepted, or just kind words that never leave the lips, its certainly nothing to be taken lightly. The people in our lives are real people. They have real emotions, real tears, real worries, and have lived real lives that we simply cannot ever completely understand. We'll never know what another person is really going through, and with this in mind we should be wary of ourselves and how we affect them.

Some people have no problem brushing off the words of others. Not everyone is so lucky. For those like me compliments truly mean a lot. They can make or break a day sometimes. But for every Yin there's also a Yang. Those people who appreciate the sweet gestures or words the most are often those who are stung the most by their counterparts. As much as an "I love you" can make someone feel accepted and loved, harsh words can also bring them a great deal misery. The person who you avoid, disregard, neglect, or take no notice of is a person every bit as much as you are. If they take the time to try to connect with you, then more than likely you're important enough to sincerely affect them. We should all keep this in mind. When you talk to another person try to be genuine. That doesn't just mean tell them what you really think. It means acknowledge them as a fellow human being. Acknowledge their feelings as real, their thoughts legitimate, their emotions as valid.

A lot of people are very private about their feelings. They'll never show you how much you can/do hurt them. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen, though. They grieve in private and cry alone. That doesn't make it any less significant. In fact, maybe it makes it more significant. Whether or not they are the kind of person who is open to everyone about their emotions doesn't mean they don't experience them as well. In my experience, those who speak the least often feel the most. Life can be difficult for us all. It's because of this that we should be here for each other along the way. We are all only here for a small amount of time. Its not insignificant that WE are all we have. Of the vast number of people that have ever lived and ever will live, these are the people we share the earth with right now. The only people we will ever have a chance to connect with. Let's not waste it.

"But here in the real world,
It's not that easy at all,
'Cause when hearts get broken,
It's real tears that fall."

Hey Limbaugh, fuck off

In light of recent comments by former Senator Rick Santorum and this video of Rush Limbaugh http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnfwVRA7lz4 I decided to do a post on racism in America. Quite frankly there is nothing that either of these men can do to justify their actions nor to convince me or any other rational person that these are not hatred-filled racist ejaculations. As I ponder why, in 2011 in the most prosperous and powerful nation on the planet, one built by immigrants and people of all different cultures and backgrounds, so many are still racist I cannot conceive a simple answer. It honestly hurts me to see things like this. Even worse still is the fact that most people are not as outraged as I am. Have we resigned ourselves to bigotry? Is it now acceptable to have any views you want? What enables people like this to hold such power and authority while eschewing such ignorant, hateful speech in America?

I can't help but believe politics plays a role. The fact is that the far right seems to be proud of their bigotry. They use it to rally support among their most conservative supporters. Consider the "Tea Party." While they would never admit to being a racially motivated group, one has to wonder why through all of our presidents and political swings throughout the country's history, why now? Has President Obama taken away any freedoms? No. Has he threatened to? No. Is he the outlandish extreme liberal that some paint him to be? He's never shown signs of it whatsoever. On the continuum of presidential political leanings (anyone who is actually educated in Political Science) would say he's in the realm of Reagan-Clinton. So what is the unique thing about this administration that would start a political movement that would gain such broad appeal and even moderate political power? Oh wait, he's a black guy. He's certainly not our first Democrat to hold the office. He's not the first to want to give health insurance to all citizens. Not the first to want to end tax cuts for the wealthy. But he is the first minority president. The fact is inescapable., even to those who do not wish to admit it.

Back to my original thought, though. Rush Limbaugh is an enormously popular radio personality. Vastly influential in conservative political circles. Yet this is not the first, or second, or third, time that he has shown his ignorance and prejudicial views. In the past he's mocked Al Sharpton's speech. He even mocked Michael J. Fox for an incurable disease not of his choosing. Now he mocks not only the leader of China, but all people of Asian descent. He remarked that he had no idea how anyone could understand Chinese or Japanese, and that he thought it sounded all like one word. Well guess what, Rush? Nearly a third of the planet understands it. However, what I can't understand is how someone can be so proudly ignorant and hateful. Yet many people, millions to be exact, hang on his every word. Probably some of you reading this. Ignorance is nothing to be proud of. Neither is racism, bigotry, or intolerance. It's not funny, its shameful. Personally, I am ashamed to be an American. I am ashamed because this kind of behavior is not only tolerated but encouraged by so many. In a rational society this man would be an outcast. But instead he's a multi-millionaire, political heavyweight. What is wrong with our society that makes this kind of thing possible? I'd like for some comments or thoughts about this, because quite frankly, it blows my mind.

America's Rudest Cities

I recently read this article on America's rudest cities. http://www.travelandleisure.com/articles/americas-rudest-cities As someone who has lived in or frequently visited a few of these cities I found these rankings to be very interesting, although strange to me. I noticed Chicago ranked in at 15. I thought about it for a while and I really feel like that's a pretty fair ranking. Chicago is the 3rd largest city in the U.S. so to only be the 15th most rude doesn't seem that bad. Overall I found my experience with most people there to be quite enjoyable. The typical person was pretty polite and helpful if needed. While I definitely had some negative experiences with people there I feel as if that's only to be expected in a city so large where people are simply not concerned about you.

Atlanta I found to be surprisingly rude for a city that one may think would have some southern charm/hospitality. Still what surprised me most was the ranking of Memphis as more rude than Chicago. Once again, I never found Chicago to be an overly rude city as some may expect. Obviously mannerisms are different there than they would be in the South. The casual smile I'm accustomed to giving to and receiving from strangers as a southerner was definitely not the norm. However, I didn't accredit this to rudeness just a difference of regional cultures. I would occasionally feel slightly offended when I would smile at a passer-by or hold a door open for someone, as I more often than not do, and would not receive any kind of gratitude or smile back. Not initiating the exchange is one thing, but once someone goes out of their way to be polite the least another person can do is to acknowledge the other person. I never stopped smiling at others nor did I stop holding doors open for other people, I just began to accept the fact that most of the time, not always, but usually, I wouldn't receive a smile or nod or thank you in return.

Now I've never lived in Memphis so maybe I'm jumping the gun here, but I've visited more than a handful of times. I have never found the people of Memphis, not that I've met them all obviously, to be rude. In fact, I've always had nothing but positive experiences when interacting with locals. I've always found them overly kind, helpful, and even downright cheery. Even the homeless in Memphis, I know this sounds odd to say, were supremely polite to me. A homeless man even offered to give me his joint and his beer because it was my birthday. If that's not hospitality I don't know what is!!

Reflections from the past 24 years

I feel the need to say thank you. This has been on my mind for several days now and I just feel the need to put it down on some digital paper. I've been called an emotional guy before, and I know its true. I'm proud of it. I'm emotional because I understand, and I appreciate. The last few years have been tough for me. I've lost people very dear to me. I've experienced depression. I've made mistakes, but I feel like I've grown because of them. I've found myself. For all of you that have been there for me, thank you. Not just for your love and time, but for being you. You've made my life what it is. You've made me who I am. Some things can't be said. There is no way to communicate them because human language is simply incapable. These things can only be felt. All I can do is try to live my life in a way that would make you proud.

My family and a few close friends, you've made my life worth living, even when I didn't want to live it anymore. I love you more than I could express in any amount of words or paragraphs. My uncle Brian, I think about you every day. I cry when I think of you more often than I'd like to admit. You were my hero, and I'll never stop missing you. I hope one day I can be half the man that you were. My mother, the strongest, most determined person I've ever known. It doesn't seem to matter what the obstacle is, she always overcomes it. I'm not quite sure how she does it. We've been through so much even in just my short time on this planet, and she's always like a rock. Taking care of business. She's always put her kids first, the way a mother should. I've felt so lucky to have her as mine, especially when I've done nothing to deserve it. The only person I can break down in front of. She is truly my inspiration. 

My dad, I've always called him Von. But just because he wasn't my biological father doesn't mean he meant any less to me. He raised me, taught me what it meant to be a man, how a man should treat a woman, and what unconditional love was. Neither of us have ever been good at communicating feelings, but its because of that as we've gotten older I think we've gotten closer. We've gained a better understanding of one another. There is simply no one on the planet who works harder and shows such great strength of character on a daily basis than he does. His entire life has been about sacrifice: for his wife, for his kids, and for their goals and desires. Completely selfless, he is who we all should be.

My brother is my best  friend. He's 17 and and trying to grow up as fast as he can. But I've never known a young man as smart as he is. I worry about him everyday, not because I doubt him, but because its my job. I always feel as if I should be doing a better job as a role model for him, but I'm only human. Every time I've moved home and and then subsequently left, I've cried my eyes out. Always careful not to do it in front of them though, I want to seem stronger than I really am. I'm so impressed at the young man he's grown up to be despite the fact that I've been largely absent during his teenage years and his strained relationship with his dad. The circumstances have been shitty, but despite that he has still thrived. He's full of love and compassion and I wish I could be more like him. 

My sister, she's hilarious, talented, beautiful, and the most mature person I've ever known at such a young age. She's emotional but tries to hide it, just like I do. In fact, I see more of myself in her than anyone I've ever met. I still remember when we were so young, we were inseparable at times. I've always put a lot of pressure on myself to be someone she can be proud of. I don't feel like I can ever reach that goal, but I love her more than I could ever say. I regret not telling her more often and staying closer to her while I was in college. I was selfish, and never took much time to reflect on those my life impacted. She was exposed to so many bad things at such a young age, and I can't help but feel guilty. I should have been there to shield her from them. Despite my failure, I have never been more confident in anyone than I am in her. She's so smart and genuine I know she'll be a wonderful human being, just as she is now. I feel so lucky to have her as my sister, and I hope one day we can be as close as we were when we were children. 

I'm lucky enough to have a few close friends who I know I could always count on. I don't need to name them,  if you think you're one of them, you probably are. Roommates, actual and adopted, you've been there for me through good times and bad. We've grown up together and I won't ever forget you. A true friend is a friend for life and I would be there for you for anything. We're all very different, but that's how I like it. It might seem like I choose my friends on no basis at all, but I'm actually pretty discerning. Even while most of my closest friends didn't like each other I loved them all. Deep down they're all genuine, good people who all want the same thing. Even if they have different means of trying to achieve it. I know I may have seemed "shady" at times because I don't open up very often about my feelings and emotions. Don't take it personally, its a flaw I'm working on. You never have to doubt the fact that I care about you, and would do anything for you.

I guess I need to wrap this up, even though I could probably write several more pages. I hope in the next few decades I can be as inspiring to some as you all have been to me. I also hope I am better at showing my gratitude to those who have made my life what it is. Wonderful.    

 

Stop frying EVERYTHING

It's long been known that fried foods are a leading cause of heart disease, obesity, high cholesterol, and a myriad of other health problems. The southern U.S. is the mecca, the crown jewel of fried foods. Here in the south (I live in Arkansas) we have fried fish, chicken, steak, twinkies, snickers, turkeys, and pretty much anything else you can imagine. A recent health study indicated the most and least healthy states in the U.S. No surprise the south carried the banner for obesity and unhealthy living. Here is the study http://health.msn.com/mens-health/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100268475&GT1=31060

Now obviously I don't think we can blame just one factor for these embarrassing statistics. The fact that in the south we live a lazier lifestyle, less walking more driving, worse education, not just about nutrition but in general, in combination with the fact that most peoples diets are some of the least nutritious there are, can only really have one result. A big part of the problem is that most people seem to simply not care. Or if they would care they haven't been properly educated about the dangers of unhealthy eating. A stark reality is that you cannot make someone educate themselves. With the state of American obesity you would think the results would be painfully obvious. But people have shown an amazing ability to deny facts which do not support their previously held notions and beliefs. The fact is the fried foods, foods high in fat and cholesterol, and largely meat diets are the norm, they are simply part of the southern culture. That does not make it an excuse however. If we as a nation are to become healthier, especially those of us in the bible belt, (and what a large belt it must be) we have to change our culture.

The foods of convenience cannot be the foods of choice. I could sit around all day and blame the food industry as a whole. And trust me I have more than a few qualms with them. After a little of my own personal research I decided that I would become a vegetarian a little less than a year ago. I wish I had done it much sooner. But the fact is that the food companies simply will do whatever makes them the most money. That is how capitalism is set up. In order to be healthy in this day and age one must make calculated and informed decisions about what they put into their bodies. So, in the end, the onus is on the individual to be healthy. No one will make you exercise or make healthy food decisions. YOU have to do it. Or not. Its really up to you. Just ask yourself, "How long would I like to live? What kind of quality of life would I like to have?"